3 Signs It's Time to Talk to Your Kids about Racism
Here's how to know definitely, certainly, for sure that it's time to talk to your kids about racism.
Hi there! Thanks for reading. Content like this only happens because people like you choose to support my work. Consider becoming a paid subscriber today!
Racism is such a delicate and fraught subject adults that are understandably wary about broaching the topic with the young people in their lives.
You don’t want to start too soon and rob kids of the innocence of childhood. You don’t want to expose them to graphic discussions of the ugliness of racism before they’re ready and risk scarring their emotions or psyche.
But you don’t want kids to be uninformed or racist!
You don’t want them to grow up with prejudices against people who look different from them. You don’t want them to hold harmful ideas about people of another race. You don’t want them to be unprepared for the difficulties they may face because of their race.
Given that learning about racism is so important, how do you know when it’s time to start talking to the young people in your life about it?
Here are three sure signs that it’s time to have a conversation about racism with kids.
1. They Are Involved in School or Other Activities with Kids from a Different Background
Social psychologist, Dr. Beverly Daniel Tatum notes that “children as young as three do notice physical differences such as skin color, hair texture, and the shape of facial features.” That means that by the time they reach pre-K age, they are observing other people and noticing that not everyone looks the same.
This is the perfect time to help them notice those differences in a positive way. You can talk to them about the beauty of diversity and how all the colors, shapes, and sizes of people are things to be curious about and to celebrate.
2. They Ask You Questions
Around the time kids start noticing that people have different skin colors, they will also start asking you questions. “Why is that person lighter/darker than I am?” “Why do some kids have vanilla skin and other kids have chocolate or caramel skin?”
When a child asks you questions about racial differences, you have a timely opportunity to talk to them about race and racism. If they’re old enough to ask questions about race, then they’re old enough for you to talk to them about it.
3. They Observe a Racist Incident
I remember watching the Rodney King verdict on television when a jury found all of the officers not guilty. I was just a kid, but watching it with my parents I could tell by their reaction something important—and disappointing—had happened. They explained to me and my siblings the longstanding pattern of anti-Black police brutality. While it was not pleasant to acquire that knowledge. I am thankful for beginning to learn about that reality at an early age.
It could be a news segment they overhear on television, it could be someone calling them or another child a racial slur, it could be something that happened to a parent or adult caregiver. Unfortunately, kids may be present when other human beings present the ugliest parts of themselves and commit acts of racism.
Rather than pretending that whatever happened didn’t happen, the aftermath of such an incident is an opportunity to talk to kids about racism. Kids see, they notice, and they need to understand.
It can be daunting to talk to young people about the reality of racism. But don’t worry. You have help. Check out How to Fight Racism, Young Readers Edition for more information.