Father's Day: A Reflection on Kirk Franklin's Emotional Documentary
The Grammy-winning gospel artist takes us inside the tender journey of finding his father
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At our last podcast retreat for Footnotes my colleagues remarked that I don’t tend to emote very much.
To put it plainly. I don’t cry very often. I express my emotions in other ways, but tears usually aren’t it.
But watching Kirk Franklin’s new documentary, Father’s Day, he got me not once but twice.
First off, the documentary tells the story of how Kirk Franklin, who is 53 years old, met his biological father for the very first time.
Franklin’s mother told him another man, who passed away in 2017, was his father.
Then in a series of events that only God could orchestrate, a man approached a friend of Kirk Franklin’s at a funeral and told her that he dated Franklin’s mother when he was a teenager. The man said would be willing to get a DNA test to find out for sure.
They tested and then tested again. The man, Rick Hubbard, was Kirk Franklin’s biological father.
The first time I teared up was when they met—a sacred moment that Franklin let us all experience through the video recording they did during the meeting.
The precise second that hit me was when they hugged. You could almost see the years of Franklin’s longing for a father expressed in the strength of that embrace.
Finding his father impressed on Franklin in a new way the joy, responsibility, and heartbreak of being a father to sons of his own.
One of his sons, Kerrion, was estranged from Franklin. They had a dramatic and public falling out that included some incredibly harsh words exchanged.
But finding his own father made Franklin want to attempt to reconcile with this son.
Kirk and Kerrion’s meeting was the second moment that tugged the tears from my eyes, even more than the first.
Being the father of a son myself, I know the camaraderie and conflict that goes with that relationship.
I’ve often pondered whether my son will forgive me as an adult for the ways I have failed to love hm as he deserves. Harsh words. Work constantly pulling me away from quality time with him. Not enough affirmations and expressions of pride just that he exists.
My many shortcomings as a father weigh on me as I contemplate the ways I’ve hurt the precious heart of my son.
I replayed all those feelings when I watched Kirk and Kerrion’s interaction.
In the documentary, Kerrion seems to experience the “fight or flight” reaction, and he chose to fight. Not physically. But his demeanor, tone, and words all indicated combat.
But then Franklin tells Kerrion that he has a grandfather and he is still alive.
Like Franklin with his own father, his son now embraced him and we witnessed the beginnings of a potential reconciliation.
I had a conversation on Instagram about Father’s Day, with my Pass The Mic co-host, Tyler Burns.
We spoke at length about the wounds we all endured in our childhood and how so much of becoming a healthy adult is healing our inner child.
We both see therapists and unbeknownst to each other, our therapists both advised us to speak to our 10-year old selves. What did they need to hear in order to feel more whole?
What does your inner child need to hear in order to heal?
You can catch the conversation below, and be sure to watch Father’s Day.
P.S. If anyone has the connect with Kirk Franklin or his associates, DM me on Instagram. Maybe he’ll come on the podcast! 🤞🏾
I am a senior citizen. Your question made me think about what happened to me. This is a poem about what healing looked like for me. It is still in process.
What does it look like to heal your inner child?
Notice.
Your adult emotions are grasping for control you do not have.
Your reactions aren’t helping, they aren’t guiding you to solutions.
Rage and anger bubble to the surface like water in a covered pot on the stove. You are water in a pot of circumstances. Situations heat you up and down.
Notice.
Patterns from childhood are repeating. The ones you wanted to change are repeating in your life. The cycle of abuse continues in you.
Notice.
A child has been wounded and abandoned. This is your child. These are your children. You can’t see the good in them. You are blind to it.
Notice.
Listen.
Be still.
A child is wounded and abandoned in your heart.
She sits.
Quiet.
Huddled.
Locked in a glass case within your heart.
How do you reach her?
Is there a way into the case?
Do you break the glass and risk shattering her in the process?
Is there a door, a window, a way?
Notice.
You need help to find a way that does not harm.
Who do you turn to?
Who knows? Who created this glass case?
Notice.
Be still.
Listen.
Turn inward.
Find your guide.
Within you is one who can help you.
Notice.
Be still.
Listen.
There is a spirit, ancestor, god, within you.
They know who you are.
They know how to guide you.
They know the way.
They have the key.
Notice.
Be still.
Listen.
Take your time.
This is what you are here for.
Uncover the truth. It is within you. It hurts. It hides.
But revealing it heals.
It removes the glass and allows you to hold and listen to the child within.
Take your time.
She longs to be held and heard.
That is why you are here.
Notice.
Be still.
Listen.
Act.