How White Allies Can Talk to Other White People about Racism with Shelley and David Park

Part 4 of the Fighting Racism series explores the role of white people in the struggle

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Racism is not an ideology invented by people of African descent—people of European descent who are considered white hold that dubious distinction.

If white people created systems of racial oppression, then it seems only logical that they should be responsible for dismantling those systems. The white people who choose to confront racism and stand in solidarity with those who experience racial oppression are sometimes called “allies.”

It’s a tricky term. What does it mean to be an ally? Is there a threshold of participation or suffering that qualifies one as an ally? Can you call yourself an ally or is that a designation that can only be granted to you by members of a racially marginalized group?

In part four of the Fighting Racism series, I talk with Shelley and David Park. They are white parents who adopted a Black son. Their efforts to love him well compelled them to confront the reality of racism in a way most other white families never have to. They began a journey to understand racism, white supremacy, and their complicity in those systems as well as their responsibility to do something about them.

The Parks decided one action they could take as white people was to talk to other white people about racism. The composed a curriculum called “Let's Talk Race: A Beginners Guide to Conversations about Race.” They gather online cohorts to walk through the content and educate white people about racism and their own complicity in it.

The work has been costly. Their commitment to being allies in the struggle for racial justice has created tension in their close relationships. They are constantly confronted with manifestations of white fragility. While some take up this work sporadically and reactively, they make the choice every day not to retreat into their privilege but to educate others. This white couple educates white people about racism so Black people and other people of color don’t have to.

For anyone seeking a roadmap to talking about race with white people, this conversation with Shelley and David Park will help.

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What has been your experience trying to talk about race to white people?